My friends remind me that my opioid-like cravings for my sweet, beautiful, precious ex are not really consistent with how I felt before we split. I was miserable most of the time, though I loved her beyond description. So that craving – in my case - is for the feelings, the experiences I felt when we were together – and not necessarily for her. You know, I miss feelings of being connected, loved, adored, respected, relied upon, and needed. But I would never ever allow my ex back into my life – I’d never expose myself to the cold, detached, depersonalizing treatment she doled out. It’s taken me nearly a year to be able to realize that and really believe it. The first helpful step in discontinuing the idolatry was to actually stop looking at her photos!
Comment From EXaholics:
As one of our webinar speakers Mark Hirschfield said so eloquently, "its the feelings we miss...not the EX." If we give ourselves a chance to really analyze, we may find a lot of truth in that statement. We felt something then which we aren't feeling at the moment. And we want that feeling to come back. But we may believe the only way to get it is through the EX. But what if that isn't true. What if we can feel that way from a different source? Sleep on it.