Here is my personal experience with contact with the ex:
When I finally wanted to start living with purpose, I had to let go of the mediocrity of my relationship with my ex so that I would accept nothing less than what I truly deserved – a healthy and loving relationship. Once I changed my mindset, I started to make the valiant decisions necessary to get what I wanted and needed for me. My first step in this process was to de-root my ex. De-rooting means that you have cut the life of the relationship from its core, its root, and emotional source. When I made it ok to visit “here and there,” text “every once in a while,” I left room for my emotional needs to be met by my ex who needed to be long gone from my life. I needed to sever all contact with him for my well being and not his. I needed to walk on by, and never look back.
Walking away from someone that I still loved was hard, sad, difficult, and at times felt like a real tragedy but it wasn’t impossible. I survived. I learned to love myself more. I owed that to myself. I also learned that I have the right to be happy, with balance, fulfillment, and pleasure of living life on my own terms.